Segregated pre-wedding parties are still the most common. They usually go down something like this: the groom and his buddies go camping for a bachelor party weekend, while the bride and her best girlfriends have a spa bachelorette party weekend with never ending margaritas. Bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and bachelor parties don’t have to be sex-segregated, however. Nowadays, most brides have lots of guy friends, and it’s not unusual for a groom to have gal pals.

That being the case, some engaged couples feel uncomfortable attending pre-wedding parties that are segregated by gender. While having separate pre-wedding parties –- a bridal shower for the ladies and a bachelor party for the gents –- is still more common than having a co-ed shower or a Stag and Hen party, there’s no rule that says any of the pre-wedding festivities have to be all-girl or all-boy.

If you’re a bride who’d rather have a co-ed shower, you should spread the word among family and friends so that whoever decides to host your co-ed bridal shower knows that male relatives and friends should be included on the guest list. Hopefully, whoever is planning your co-ed bridal shower (or Stag and Hen party) will just ask you for a guest list right out, which is the best time to let them know you’d like to include everyone.

Couple showers and parties are sometimes known as Jack and Jill parties or Stag and Hen parties (as mentioned above), a nod to their British origins. And surprisingly, it’s not uncommon for a bride and groom to host their own jack and jill party, though if you’re planning to throw a mixed bachelor and bachelorette party for you and your spouse-to-be, you shouldn’t expect gifts since these aren’t usually part of the bachelorette party, anyway.

As with any shower or pre-wedding fete, there doesn’t have to be a set theme, but if the host is asking you what sort of theme you’d like at your co-ed bridal shower, anything goes. Some common Stag and Hen party themes include the backyard BBQ, a night at the casino, the scavenger hunt party, and the party that revolves around a major sporting event. Don’t be afraid to gently remind the person or persons planning your Jack and Jill party that the décor and drinks and activities shouldn’t be too girly. A lot of shower games are geared toward women’s interests – see if you can modify them to appeal to the guys on the guest list.

(Photo by rieh)